Ending Relationships Can Be Devastating
At the end of a relationship between two people there are a lot of emotions that come up. Sadness and anger being the 2 most relevant. When there are children involved, however, so many more can surface.After-all when there are children you have to consider them as well. Try to comfort your children and put their interests before your own. This might even mean allowing the other parent time with the kids because they need to know they are important to you both.
If the relationship was one which turned to violence then you may need to seek additional help. Try reading this article about getting past domestic violence. Tiffany from Raisinggoodpeople.org went through a lot and has decided to share some of her story. Co-Parenting After Domestic Violence.
Starting the Process of Child Visitation Rights
If you are agreeing or not then it is still a good idea to go to court and receive a formal Child Visitation Rights Order. If the two of you can agree on a parenting plan then they will simply write it up for you and the judge will sign it.If you agree on some of it but not all the you will see a mediation councilor who will facilitate the documenting process and if necessary recommend to the judge what she thinks would be in the best interests of the children.
The judge has the final say but they will usually take what the mediators recommend and sign off on it. In the state of California this is troublesome in cases where there was undocumented abuse in the relationship because it is a no fault separation state. What that means is child visitation rights are awarded equally to both parents if both parents want them.
In cases where there is only verbal allegations of abuse the children could be forced to spend half of their time with the abusive parent. Here is a case where the abused parent was fighting for custody for years before getting granted custody. When Father's Rights Are Taken Too Far.
Co-Parenting Should Be Easy On Everyone
Children should be allowed to live at their two homes peacefully. What Co-Parenting Should Look Like. First of all the romantic relationship between you and your ex might be over but you still have to have a parenting relationship. The first thing you have to do is let go of the anger and blame of the romantic relationship in order to form a healthy parenting one.I recommend reading some books about Co-Parenting and Child Visitation Rights.
If there was violence I recommend How to Parent With An Abusive Ex and Keep Your Sanity
If there was marriage I recommend Co-Parenting 101: Helping Your Kids Thrive ...
If there was parental alienation I recommend Overcoming the Co-Parenting Trap: Essential Parenting Skills When A Child Resists a Parent and Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex: What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You
